Beach Party Politics


We stand for equality, peace and the environment. We support a National Living Wage and Drug Legalisation. We will provide free Higher Edcuation and Scrap Trident. We promise to protect both animal and human rights while defending the earth from corporate greed and destruction.

This is the manifesto of The Beach Party.

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DRUGS should be legalised and taxed. It’s been estimated that we could raise an extra £6bn in tax revenue each year just from weed. It’s never killed anyone, unlike tobacco and alcohol and the cannabinoids have been proven to have a great many medical uses. Legalisation would make it possible to regulate the more dangerous strains of skunk and allow people to know exactly what is in the products they are buying. The active components of magic mushrooms, psilocybin has been found to treat alcoholism and other addictions yet to this day they are still illegal. It’s about time we woke up and realised that making drugs illegal doesn’t stop people taking them, and it actually makes the whole situation worse. Across the world we can see the benefits of legalising drugs. This ensures that the drugs are safer, and organised crime no longer makes any money from controlling their supply.

TAX religious corporations like every other business. The church makes billions and doesn’t contribute a penny back to society. Is that really what Jesus would have wanted? And other business that currently refuse to pay their fair share of taxes like Google, Facebook and Starbucks will simply lose their licence to operate and have their assets frozen until they agree to stop screwing over the little guys and gals if the Beach Party was in charge.

WAR. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing? Except maybe, destabilising foreign governments while allowing western corporations to steal resources and wealth. I don’t know how much oil your country has, but I promise I will not bomb anyone to make myself rich. I would in fact take us in the other direction, scrap trident and save the country a few hundred billion pounds. I’d also pull out of NATO. Under Article 13 [of the NATO founding charter] there is a possibility for an ally to cease to be a party to the treaty, and declare the UK a neutral state.

EDUCATION should be free. It’s getting ridiculously expensive so I would also provide free edcuation to everyone, regardless of age, sex, race or religion.

The NHS is being destroyed, underfunded and sold off which is a terrible for society. Standards slip as the price of services goes up resulting in unnecessary suffering and death for lots of poor people who can’t afford private health care. We believe our government needs to put human health and well-being before private profit of the few.



The Beach Party Philosophy – All people need to have access to…

▪ Food.

▪ Housing.

▪ Health Care.

▪ Higher Education.

▪ Electricity, Heating, Water, Internet, Basic Utilities and public transportation.

A living wage of £20k a year to every adult will cover the cost of everything above so we can end poverty in the UK. People will still be encouraged to work to upgrade there homes and buy luxuries but we will end a lot of our current social problems by providing everyone with enough financial support to get a roof over their head, and food in their belly, no matter how poor they are. We would encourage the average working week be reduced to 25 hours.

Equality. To stop the growing devide between the rich and the poor, we will ensure all CEOs have earning limits. For example, the highest paid member of any company can only earn a maximum of 50 times what they pay the lowest paid worker. If they want to pay themselves a billion pounds, they can, as long as the wages of everyone else in the organisation is scaled accordingly.

GMO food is bad. We believe corporations that want to patent seeds, so they own the intelectual property rights of the food that we eat, are bad news for society. Farmers should be allowed to grow their own seeds from the crops they have pollinated without fear of corporate giants like Monsanto taking them to court.

Farming has become too industrialised. The intensive measures associated with animal farming in a pursuit of ever increasing profit margins has led to the unethical treatment of animals. We will raise the welfare standards by banning cages for chickens and limiting the widespread use of antibiotics. If farmed animals become ill because of their environment, then changing the environment a better solution than introducing industrial amounts of drugs into our food chain. We will also reduce the amount of pesticides used on crops because it’s killing all our bees. Their are smarter ways to control insects. We should simply encourage the other living things that pray on the insects we don’t like.

The Environment is being destroyed by corporate greed. We are against fracking. Instead we will increase investment in science and renewable energy. The UK currently spends about 1.5 per cent of its GDP on scientific research. We would up that to 5% which will benefit many future generations. Right now more than 40% of our GDP comes from knowledge based services so it’s a wise investment. An increase of public spending in this magnitude for science will yield huge benefits and make the UK the best place in the world to do research once again.

The Internet and Individual ownership of our personal data is extremely important to us. It will be even more important to our future generations as we become more connected to the web. The online activity of an individual should be controlled by the individuals themselves and not owned by third party sites, which is often sold as a commodity. Intelligence agencies should be made to respect internet privacy rights of everybody. The Beach Party will fight against mass surveillance and we will progress a Bill of Digital Rights to ensure that freedoms are appropriately protected online. All citizens should have the right to interact and communicate online, securely and privately. Real world privacy and freedom should exist in our virtual world as it does in our physical one. Data of Internet companies like Google, Facebook and Apple that collects e-mail, texts, voicemails, and video chats of citizens and the massive metadata-mining program will be outlawed as intrusive and in breach of basic human rights.

Most politicians wont talk about the robotic revolution. What will happen is the majority of the jobs people do today will be lost and replaced by technologies that can function faster and more efficiently than people can. It’s inevitable but nobody is prepairing for it. Whats going to happen when millions of people can’t find a job, and can no longer keep up with their mortgage payments? Is your job and your home safe? Drivers will be replaced by self driving cars. Service personnel will be replaced by service bots. Do you want half the population to be thrown on the scrap heap? Or would you prefer everyone has a living wage to cope in this situation?


If that’s not enough, we also support free movement: visa issues will be made simple and border restrictions relaxed to allow all humans free access from Europe and other parts of the world. There is only one race and it comes in many colours, but all are welcome if you are respectful to our Common Law. Rich people can go literally anywhere on the planet. We believe poor people should also be allowed this freedom as well. Invisable line have got in the way for far too long. Many studies have show that freedom of movement is good for the economy.

Contact Information:
Please don’t post anything – as we don’t have a post box on the beach but this is our office…
The Beach Party and the General Election H.Q.
Gabriel’s Wharf, London, SE1 9PP.

One day we might earn enough to rent an actual office space, but in mean time, catch me on the beach by Gabrials Wharf.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. As leader and the currently acting treasurer of the Beach Party I’m hoping to be MP of Vauxhall but for now, I’m happy being the Sandman with plan.

Twitter @DirtyBeach

I also want to say a special thank you to…

Noel Edmonds – For the publicity on TV, and giving me £2,500. This helped get the old car insured again and eventually pass its MOT.

Melinda Messenger – For donating money and publicly backing our political party. That was very sweet.

Edward Snowdon – Just because.

Julian Assange – A valiant campaigner for truth who will be guaranteed political asylum in the UK if we get elected.

And lastly thanks to Daniel Waples and James Hope Falkner for the £50 donations towards my beach cleaning robots. They are coming along slower than I hoped as the first round funding came up very short, but I’ll have a working prototype soon and a gift ready for you both when I see you next.

…/b/… nice, spread love … kind regards … stay sexy… Peace X